Mice Belong In Labs

I SAW A MOUSE.

It was adorable. But that is beside the point.

I am home alone, and I saw a mouse. It was under the stove, poking its adorable little whiskered face out at me like 'yo, is that a Grey's rerun I hear you watching in there? Is it an Izzie loves Alex episode? Cuz I like those, too, and I thought maybe I could come chill in there...oh...no? Okay, whatever, you don't have to scream.'

Actually, I didn't scream. But only because at first, I thought it was a frog. I don't know how that's less scary, but whatever. I just looked at it, then I sat up, it saw me move, and it ran back under the stove, where it apparently loves to lurk. It stuck its face out a minute later and saw me still looking at it in a horrified manner, and I haven't seen it since.

But it's still there. I can sense it.

Google says mice can climb into beds and up walls and that they know how to jump and that if they bite you, you have to get a rabies shot. The internet is not comforting.

Neither, by the way, are ANY OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I don't see how it's simply unreasonable to go to Wal-Mart and buy someone in need some freaking mouse traps and maybe some poison and a laser gun at 11 o'clock at night. Especially when there are ninja-mice lurking in the kitchen.

Seriously. You are all dead to me.

You know what's not dead to me, though? The mouse. Which brings me to my point:  mice do not belong in kitchens, where there is all the food and the water and through which I have to walk to go get my laundry. They belong in labs, curing cancer and testing out new shades of lipstick for Clinique. I have never been more in favor of animal testing than I am at this moment; if there's a lipstick lab nearby that needs a test subject, I have a perfectly adorable one for you.

I JUST HEARD A NOISE OH HOLY CRAP IT WAS PROBABLY THE MOUSE.

I have to go. I have to horde all my things, turn on lights to blind it (because the internet is never wrong, right?) and shove a towel under my door so it can't get to me.

<3 Lauren

Today's muse music:  Comme des enfants - Coeur de Pirate